Doctor Who and the X-Men: The Rewrite of the Original, or The Director’s Cut – Part 4

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Part 4.

(Back in the SOL)
All: [singing] Deedle doodle door!


After the TARDIS has travelled to Universe-616, the Doctor has entered the co-ordinates of Earth-616, but somehow something is is blocking the TARDIS, as soon as it reaches the outer edges of the Solar System.
Adric said “The TARDIS scanners are indicating a huge facility with thousands of inhabitants, of various alien races, beyond the orbit of Pluto.” “It appears to be a transmat terminus, due to the energies which are being generated there”, the Doctor commented. “We’ll have to materialise there first”
“Doctor, is Earth-616 the same as our own Earth Prime?” asked Arturo.
“No, it is not. I am sorry.” the Doctor replied.

Roma had told the Doctor that the dangerous Dire Wraiths would have also returned, since the Adversary had escaped. But the third generation Galadorian Spaceknights (also from Universe-616), in a future timeline, would face them. (In the Spaceknights LS)
The “First One”, ROM, was a Galadorian who gave up most of his humanity to fight the enemies of his homeworld, the Dire Wraiths. It was with the X-Man mutant Forge’s help that the Dire Wraiths, and the Adversary, were defeated. The Galadorians had colonised other worlds, and at one time (ROM #27), Galactus moved Galador, but not all Galadorians were on Galador at this time and not all Galadorians were killed by the second generation spaceknights, the latter had lost all their humanity and went rogue. The first generation spaceknights helped to reestablish contact between ROM and the Galadorian colonies.rom
Now some of the Galadorian colonies had been oppressed by the Shi’ar Empire, an alien empire.

Aboard a Shi’ar Starship

(Back in the SOL)
All: [singing] Been A Long Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely Time!

Currently Professor X was in the outer fringes of the Empire, aboard a Shi’ar Star ship containing a team of mutant Skrulls fashioned after the X-Men, called Cadre K, which he has been training in the use of their powers. He has been missing from the X-Men for quite a while, when suddenly Bishop, who has been in a future timeline for quite a few months, reappears on this starship, crashing through sixteen decks! The Professor is currently able to stand and walk, thanks to the use of a Shi’ar technological armour. Bishop takes on a mission for the Professor, a mission which will attempt to break the confinement of Earth and the Solar System!

Earth 616’s Solar System

Earth’s Solar System recently has been surrounded by a huge containment grid, designed to keep the inhabitants sealed in and everyone else locked out. The decision was taken by the Pan-Galactic Grand Council, which includes the Sh’ar Empire, who declared the Earth a Penal Facility. The worst criminals in the universe were being dumped here, on Earth! The Earth was isolated from the rest of the universe, thanks to this containment grid. Any alien starships who approached the Solar System were not allowed to enter, and most were destroyed.
[ Author’s Note: For more information about this, see the Marvel Crossover Maximum Security, especially the Bishop #15 and X-Men #107 books. ]

Central Processing Facility

…The TARDIS materialises in a large mess hall. The walls are coloured purple, of a technological kind. It is not clear what facilities are hidden behind the panels.
A huge number of alien inmates of various species are eating their food. A green alien is wearing violet overalls, and eating a large beetle with his six hands.
The Doctor and companions exit the TARDIS. Professor Arturo comments “This seems worse than the places we slide to!”.
Wade looks at one of the prisoners, who looks human. He is dark-skinned, with Jamaican style hair. They talk to him and he tells them that he is Bishop, one of the X-Men. He has infiltrated the processing facility using a special key obtained by Professor X and plans to transmat or teleport himself to Earth.
“We have important information for you X-Men”, the Doctor explained.
“This seems to be more urgent, I would think”, Bishop replied rashly.
“It is urgent, but the Adversary has returned, to make it worse, with the Mara!”, the Doctor said.
“The Adversary! I have not met him myself, but I remember reading about him in the X-Men’s casefiles.” Bishop exclaimed.
“We must find a way to take the TARDIS to earth. It is imperative that we succeed.” the Doctor said.
“I am going to be sent to Earth through the matter transmission device, the transmat ring, very soon. Perhaps you might materialise over the ring, so as to be dematerialised with me on Earth.” Bishop suggested.
“I think that is a very good idea”, Quinn commented.
“Yeah, Q-Ball, that should work”, Remmy laughed.
Wade was suddenly worried. She saw a guard talk to Adric, and she also thought of the Timer! “Quinn, I hope you aren’t carrying the timer, for once!”
“Don’t worry, Wade, I’ve left it in the TARDIS”, Quinn replied.

Meanwhile, Adric was sighted by one of the guards, a Ruul. The Ruul race was originally called the Kree, before it was bombed by an evil entity known as the “Supreme Intelligence” (not that its supreme intelligence was of any use, having been eventually defeated!) and as a result they evolved into the Ruul. The guard, shouted, “Why aren’t you eating, boy? The food’s no good?”. Adric said “Sorry, I’m not hungry!” The guard retorted, “Better be good!”.
The Doctors, the Sliders, Hindle, Nyssa, Adric and Tegan all went back to the TARDIS.
Bishop was strapped to a holding device and the alien guards around the transmat ring were initiating the transmat sequence for delivery to the SOL-3 terminus.
The TARDIS dematerialised from its current location within the mess hall, and materialised right over Bishop. As he was dematerialised, the TARDIS was dematerialised too by the right, however unfortunately an alien guard noticed it and fired a shot towards it. The shot’s energy flux merged with the transmat energies.
Bishop materialised within the secret transmat terminus in Ellis Island. He shattered his restraints and saw the X-Men who were fighting the alien guards of the Ellis Island terminus.
In front of him were the following X-Men – the team leader Rogue (who at this point in time looked like a Skrull, as she had her dna turned into skrull dna!); Colossus, Nightcrawler and Cerise (who were in Excalibur recently, a team formed as a result of Roma’s manipulations), Thunderbird (not the original Thunderbird who had died on the X-Men’s second mission, but Neal Shaara, a mutant able to generate and control solar plasma and heat) , Psylocke (Captain Britain’s sister, who used to be in Excalibur, too) and Wolverine.

Rogue’s power had had a psychological effect on her. Her first boyfriend had ended up in a coma for three days as a side-effect. On another occasion she had involuntarily killed a superheroine, Ms Marvel. This was when she was not on the side of the law, being Mystique’s daughter. She had turned to the X-Men after she absorbed the psyche of the person she had killed. She could not control her thoughts. Two personalities in one head. Out of control. Thankfully, Professor Xavier managed to help her at the time.
Today, however, Rogue had met one of the Cadre K skrulls who was dying, and the skrull woman touched her, giving her possibly permanently skrull dna and the skrull’s memories. It looked like a repetition of the time when she had joined the X-Men.


Mutants. Something other than human, according to some. Most of them looked just like ordinary people, indeed. A large number of these mutants had developed various abilities. Abilities which made ordinary humans fear mutants. Violence and anti-mutant hatred were commonplace on this Earth. To make it worse, in this particular point in time, the Earth was overrun with many alien convicts who had been placed here.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: Whoa! That’s a bit of a subject jump there, fella.
Crow: Marvel at the amazing Mr Scirev! He leaps from the obligatory spiel
about mutants to the obligatory line about anti-mutant hatred in a
single paragraph!

(Marvel Universe, or simply MU)
Man against man because of a simple genetic difference. Professor Xavier, a mutant whose ability was
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: To shoot Cheez Wiz from his eyes.

telepathy, a number of years ago formed a team of mutants. His purpose was to realise his utopic dream
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: [deep voice] Of an Arby’s which never closed.

of peaceful cohabitation between mutant and human. Unfortunately, along the years, it seemed that his dream was not so easy to attain. Diverse factions of humans and mutants appeared and disappeared as quickly. Mutant hysteria and anti-human terrorist attempts made the headlines and remained the rule rather than the exception.

Inside Professor Xavier’s Ready Room,
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: Flynn MacTaggert was suiting up for another demon hunt.
Tom: And Captain Picard enjoyed a hot Earl Grey.
Crow: Xavier was played by Picard in the X-Men movie!

the other X-Men team was gathered ready to see if the Cerebro computer had any positive identification of the visitor who had just materialized and dematerialized a few moments ago in their grounds.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: It turned out to be just another poorly plotted crossover, so they all
went back to bed.

The Professor was the greatest telepath on the planet. He was the
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: Next to JoJo of the Psychic Alliance, of course.

founder of Xavier’s School for (Back in the SOL)
Tom: Plumbing and Refrigerator Repair.

Gifted Youngsters where the X-Men were formed.
Now it was called the Xavier Institute. He had left the X-Men once more, to form the team of alien mutants, Cadre K.
The X-Men saved the universe and the world countless times in the past. They had become living legends. Tragedy had not lacked however.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: [Shakespearean actor] Alas, alack, oh woe! What tragedy is this that
hast befallen the House of Xavier?

When the new X-Men team was formed,
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: People bitterly complained that they were nothing like the original
team, so the company acquiesced and brought them back in classic

one of them died on the first mission.
(Back in the SOL)
Crow: Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease say it was Cyclops.
Tom: No go, good buddy. He’s talking about the token minority member,

His brother was now a team member, and he took the same name, Thunderbird.
Tragedy and triumph. This was what the X-Men encountered. When one of them, Jean Grey (then the team’s only telepathic mutant besides Professor X) was about to die when piloting a shuttle
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: And the only one independent enough to drop the goofy codename.
Author: No she didn’t. Calls herself Phoenix again now, when she isn’t The Phoenix avatar herself.

containing the X-Men,
(Back in the SOL)
Crow: [longingly] Oh, if only the Satellite were equipped with lasers.

due to solar flares, she was saved by the Phoenix force entity. The Phoenix had actually taken her place, so the X-Men did not know she was *not* really Jean Grey until after ‘she’ died on the moon.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: Criminy! Is this guy going to run through the entire history of the XMen?

The real Jean Grey was encased in an energy cocoon at the bottom of New York Harbour where she was found years later.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: The Fantastic Four found her in Avengers #263 and Fantastic Four #286. Reed Richards freed her!
‘Bots: Fanboy! Fanboy!
Mike: Knock it off! Don’t make me get the E-Z ‘Bot Repair Manual!
‘Bots: [quietly] We’ll be good.

To make things more confusing Jean Grey is now using the codename Phoenix even though she does not have the Phoenix abilities at all.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: Well, it makes about as much sense as some of the other codenames
these people have.
Crow: Like who?
Tom: Cable, Domino, Bishop, Red Commando, Revanche, Blaquesmith…
Crow: Enough, enough! You’ve made your point.

The X-Men were people in a world that hated them, a world on the brink of Genetic War. That hated mutants for no other reason than their existence.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: Well, that and the fact mutants kept blowing up all their stuff.

“There is a 99% probability that the visitor’s craft is a Police Call Box, 1963 version, currently obsolete.” Cerebro said.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: [Cerebro] And there’s a 1% chance the water supply’s been spiked.

Shadowcat thought about Scott Summers, codenamed Cyclops. Cyclops’ eyes could fire deadly laser beams, which could only be controlled by the use of specially fabricated quartz ruby lenses which he had to wear. He was missing, presumed dead, when the X-Men finally defeated their greatest enemy Apocalypse.
“What?” Gambit said aloud.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: [an angry Cerebro] I said a Police. Call. Box.

“Dis is absolutely ridiculous” Gambit commented. “How can a telephone box travel, materialize and dematerialize?”. He just had to simply touch something to charge it (Back in the SOL)
Tom: Pretty much the same way a man can charge a pack of cards and make them explode just by touching them.

with kinetic energy. He usually carried a pack of cards, to blast some dangerous evil threat. He
was a thief in the past, but was he a hero or thief now?
(Back in the SOL)
Crow: Scirev’s going to introduce every character like this, isn’t he?
Mike: He skipped Cyclops, didn’t he?
Crow: Cyclops is currently dead. What more do you want to know?
Mike: Point taken.

“It’s quite obviously *not* an ordinary one.” Shadowcat looked at her watch. (Back in the SOL)
Tom: Nope, it’s a Super Deluxe Silver Edition Police Call Box!
Mike: [Shadowcat] For crying out loud, I promised to meet Ororo at the bowling
alley fifteen minutes ago!

She herself had seen many strange sights in her time with the X-Men and the time she was with Excalibur.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: No! Not again! Please, Mike, turn me off! Anything! Don’t make me sit
through another rendition of X-History! [His bubble begins to smoke
and he begins to mutter to himself.]
Mike: [calmly] Tom, shut up, or I break you up in pieces! [Tom continues to shake and smoke.] Shh…it’s gonna be all right. [The shaking subsides and Tom quiets down.]

She could travel through walls and anything like a ghost could, with her phasing ability. She could become solid at any time again. She was trained by the best, that was Wolverine, and Nightcrawler, Storm and Colossus were her best friends. Too bad that Storm had just left for the technologically advanced country of Wakanda. She would miss her friend.
(Back in the SOL)
Crow: You going to be okay, Tommy?
Tom: [weakly] Yeah, I’m fine, Crow. Scirev just blindsided me for a moment.
[Tom sniffs.]
Tom: I’m missing her too.

She had picked up the computerised watch she was wearing
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: Oh, now he’s just taunting us.
Mike: Attaboy, Tom! I knew you were better than the ‘fic!
Author: Stop interrupting during this paragraph or I write you out!

from a parallel universe during Excalibur’s crosstime jaunt. When she, Colossus, Rachel, Captain Britain and Nightcrawler formed the new European superhero team Excalibur, they had believed the X-Men to have died in Dallas. She found herself go back to that time if only in her mind. Even though her best friends were believed dead, her time in Excalibur was one of the best she ever had. She remembered that time when she went to hear the band “Cats Walking” play, and she ended up on an adventure with the “little versions” of the X-Men from Mojoworld. Perhaps even better than now, when she had rejoined the X-Men together with Colossus and the “Fuzzy elf”, as they called Nightcrawler.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: Looks like Mr Scirev’s gone into “Hemingway mode,” doesn’t it?
Author: Did you call RTD Hemingway? Because he did have a lot of romance in his episodes…
Tom: [announcer] Can there be an infinite number of versions of X-Men?

Recently though it was believed that she was one of the race known as the Neo. (Back in the SOL)
Tom: The Neo-Futurists!
Mike: The Neo is a birthmark, I think.

The Neo were a new type of humans which appeared on the Earth, possessing extra-strong powers, they battled both humans and mutants.

“Further to primary analysis, a selective time trace has been found surrounding the area where the Box was located.” continued Cerebro.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: That’s hard to get out. He’s gonna need baking soda for that one.

“What?” said Shadowcat. She could hardly believe this. This meant one thing.
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: Sea lions were going to invade New Foundland!

“It’s a time machine then!”
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: It was, but now it’s working as a phone booth full time.
Crow: [Ted] No way!
Mike: [Rufus] Way!

“Cerebro, can you trace its temporal path then?” asked Cable.
“Cerebro is unable to do such analysis.” answered a stern Cerebro.
(Back in the SOL)
Crow: [Cerebro] Naughty, naughty, Cable. You must be…*punished*…

“Cerebro, can you locate, within your records, any similar occurrences of a 1963 telephone box materializing anywhere?” asked Cable, thinking that this box must have been seen somewhere else.
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: [Norman Lovett] Hang on a mo’.

After a few minutes, Cerebro came up with the reply:
“No such occurrences.”
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: [Norman Lovett] Sorry, dudes.

“Do you know of any such boxes being used for time travel in your time or before?” Shadowcat asked Cable.
“No, never.”
(Back in the SOL)
Mike: [Cable] We always used triangles.

“We need to upgrade Cerebro to scan temporal fluxes, in other words to detect temporal displacements.”
“I have just what you need. I will upload it to your system and you can then install it.”
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: [Cable] Be sure you’ve got Linux with the latest kernel, Firewire, a Blu-ray writer, a DVD-ROM drive and Soundblaster installed, as well as 32GB of RAM.

Cable, the Askani’Son, was the son of Cyclops and Madelyn Pryor, a clone of Jean Grey,
(Back in the SOL)
[Tom begins to shake and mutter again.]
Crow: Woop-woop! History off the port bow, captain!
Mike: Come on, Tommy. Come on, you can rise above it!

grown up a few thousands of years in the future. That future does not exist any more,
(Back in the SOL)
Tom: Yeah!!!!! I feel better ’cause it doesn’t exist anymore!

and as a result, his ‘sister’ Rachel Summers was did not remember how, in his future, she was able to take care of him. He saved her, from the mad villain known as Gaunt millions of years in the future,
(Back in the SOL)
[Tom’s bubble begins to smoke once more.]
Mike: [anxiously] Come on, Tom. Don’t let it get you!

and went back with her to the present timeline. But the other X-Men were not yet aware of this. Cable was a limited telepath with a bionic arm, but at first he complemented his abilities with the use of some advanced futuristic guns and other technology. His telekinesis allows him to control the techno-organic virus that ravages his body He was not originally an X-Man, but he formed X-Force, another mutant team, a while back in the present. Nowadays he considers himself an X-Man,
(Back in the SOL)
[Tom’s bubble continues to smoke even more.]

more than ever, since his father, Cyclops, died. Due to the fact that he grew up in the future, his hair is grey and he is older than his late father.
(Back in the SOL)
[Tom’s shaking subsides, and he stops muttering]
Tom: Whew! That was close! Thanks for the support, Nelson.
Mike: Any time, buddy.

Continued in part 5
All Marks are owned by their owners. Doctor Who, Hindle, The Mara is the BBC’s
The Sliders are Fox/Universal/St. Clare Entertainment/Sci-Fi Channel’s
Colonel Rickman is Universal Studio/St. Clare Entertainment’s
Red Dwarf characters are Rob Grant/Doug Naylor/Grant Naylor Productions’
MST3K to Best Brains, the X-Men and Excalibur belong to Marvel Entertainment Group.
Il-Kaptan ( Kaptan Brittanniku ) is owned by myself because I made him up.